For Stanley

Stanley is a stranger, but I bet he is rad. Anyway, Stanley commented on a Sophie post, admitting he found Sophie after searching for ladybugs. But he explained WHY he was searching for ladybugs, so that’s why this post is dedicated to him.

Now, I am going to offer a PRIZE to anyone who can explain to me why people are so obsessed with ladybugs as seen in the below screenshot of search terms people type in that leads them to this blog.

Or you could just tell me why YOU are searching for ladybugs. I would appreciate it.

And for first time visitors: this blog, ASTONISHINGLY, is not actually about ladybugs.

People also clearly like red heads. Of which I am now again.

…

I don’t think that was entirely grammatically correct. “Of which I am… something something.” I was trying to say my hair is red again. I feel more like me. Which is weird. Because in real life I’m blonde.

I also want to know the life story of the person who searched for ‘Get off bitch I’m doing science”. Cos that person would have an awesome life story.

My Ladybug Response

I AM CONFUSED. And not just blonde confused, like actually confused. And also amused. Confused and Amused.

About two months ago, all of a sudden I was getting hundreds of hits a day, out of the blue. I’m thinking okay, this is weird, but I like it. What’s going on? It turns out all the hits were from people searching for ladybugs. And I mean, SEARCHING. Searching for ladybugs, picture of ladybug, ladybug on leaf, ladybug in garden, ladybug flying. Any variation of ladybug you could think of, people were searching for it.

Which led them to a post I wrote about a year ago, in which I expressed my dislike of ladybugs. You can read it here.

WELL. Talk about bringing out the hate. I think ladybugs are kinda creepy, true. I would prefer a Daddy-Long-Legs in my house (as we all know) than a ladybug. It turns out this opinion makes me a Monster who Defies God and blah blah etc etc. Though from the longs bits of Wikipedia text on the merits of ladybugs have been informative and appreciated. These people really like ladybugs. Like, LOVE ladybugs. And that, to me, is a bit creepier than the, what I thought, was a PAINFULLY tongue-in-cheek narrative on them.

But the CREEPIEST thing about all this is the following:

Why the HELL are all these people searching for blogs on ladybugs? I’m talking hundreds a day. And all of a sudden. Did a ladybug save some kid’s life in another country and it just didn’t make the news over here or something? Am now picturing a SuperHero Ladybug in a cape swooping down and saving a cherubic child from a burning building. In which case I totally understand the public obsession with them overnight.

But if that didn’t happen people… well. You’re all pretty weird. I await your outrage with anticipation and glee.

Search terms of the day

As previously discussed, I can look up what people have typed into WordPress that has led them to my blog. The current leaders are ‘hit girl wallpaper’ and ‘jessica true blood’, both of which pop up at least once a day.

But yesterday WordPress told me that someone in the universe typed in the following that led them to the Sophie Love:

hairdresser having sex while blow drying

I am now going to type this into Google images and see what happens…

Yeah, okay. That was totally boring. I was hoping for some kinky high jinks but it was just girls with perfect hair wielding Remingtons.

People are weird and creepy.

Some time I ago posted this, commenting on the fact that weird tags generate blog hits when weird people look for weird things.

I don’t think I’ve seen more charming proof of this then when I looked at my stats today and saw that someone had been led straight to Sophie after searching for this little gem:

dog.animal.sex.porn.

EW.

Fun in the Library with Helen

I am sitting in the Dome Room at the State Library with Helen, and it’s very pretty and we’re discussing blog hits. But quietly, because it’s the State Library and the Dome Room and you have to be really quiet when you’re in here and pretend you’re all scholarly…

I have decided to pretend to repost this. I am not really in true life, but my research so far has shown me that when the terms ‘porn’, ‘nude’, and ‘naked’ (the three most popular so far*) are searched for, a post entitled ‘Midget Hookers Make Me Popular’ will probably not receive as many views as the more ambiguous, yet still truthful, ‘Fun in the Library with Helen’. I should probably change Helen’s name to something like Tiffany, but I am all about the truth here.

Let’s see what happens. I have also added more naughty tags. I draw the line at reeeeeally naughty, cos my Mum reads this, but I think there are sufficiently naughty ones there to suffice. Is using ‘sufficiently’ and then ‘suffice’ in one sentence completely wrong and pointless? Probably.

* I am somewhat disappointed that the tag ‘chocolate self saucing pudding’ hasn’t had any hits so far.

Midget Hookers Make Me Popular

I am sitting in the Dome Room at the State Library with Helen, and it’s very pretty and we’re discussing blog hits. But quietly, because it’s the State Library and the Dome Room and you have to be really quiet when you’re in here and pretend you’re all scholarly.

This is where we are. See all those scholarly people? Yeah, we’re pretending we’re one of them.

So we’re discussing blog hits, and how to generate them, and what makes people who are not your friends and immediate family look at your blog and it all comes down to the TAGS people.

So Helen and I are going to do a little experiment. I am going to proceed to tag this post with every weird and sexual thing, between us, we can think of, and see what happens.

The two of us are all about the research.