Tag Archives: Fashion

Marijuana Movie Madness Vol I – Labyrinth (starring the delectable David Bowie)

Last night, while very stoned, I decided to write notes while watching the awesome 80s cinematic triumph, Labyrinth. I would like to share these notes with you.

David Bowie is fucking awesome. This is a movie. I mean his movie.

This owl.

Now, it’s either fake rain, or really well timed rain. Did they have technology in 1982?

The background of her house looks like a slum. SINCE WHEN!?

WTF, I had a dream about a dancing girl like a SECOND AGO. Like a few days ago or something.

2nd beanie shot is SO in fashion.

Wow, they KNEW she was going to wish. How did they KNOW.

Toby stopping crying and the scene following is in the top 10 terrifying moments of cinematic history.

AS IF THIS IS RATED G!?

Nice vest Sarah.

The maze has the same consistency as the cookie in Honey I Shrunk the Kids! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?

That fairy is so pretty.

The fairies aren’t evil! They’re insects!

Sarah says her name so fucking retardedly.

Shut up Sarah you fucking retard.

OMG! Wtf eyes on stalks that sound like the aliens from Toy Story!

I like the first leg of the labyrinth, before she finds the corners and the worm. The snaily twig bits with moss.

Nic says why doesn’t she climb the wall. Yeah! Why doesn’t she just climb the wall!? Is she fucking joking? YOU’RE RETARDED SARAH!

THE.WORM.

Why do you still love the worm, even though he sends her the wrong way?

Bowie’s riding crop. Jesus. THIS IS SO AMAZING.

Nic: His haircut is off the charts.

His skipping!

Do you think they tested heaps of colours of lipstick to see which showed up the best?

Toby is smiling! He’s going to the other side! He’s getting that I love my kidnapper syndrome! Like that Charlie Sheen and Kristy Swanston movie. Where did she go??

This is so fucking clever. The door guys with the lies. I never worked out Sarah’s questions logic. That wasn’t quick maths.

WHY WOULD YOU GO DOWN!?

She hasn’t even got that far David. It’s like she’s been in there 10 minutes. Calm down Goblin King.

This Hoggle is an obsecenely well designed puppet. I can emote with this puppet!

This scene is like Return to Oz! Is this scene in Return to Oz? I swear it is. The exact same scene but with Dorothy in it.

Brilliant delivery David!

AMAZING jacket worn by Bowie.

Deliberately unlikeable characters. Fascinating for a children’t movie. Wouldn’t happen now.

Since when were the goblins Spanish?

Why is Ludo so retarded? His fur is a nice colour though. Oooh, I get it. It’s like Ludo has asbergers, but a friendly asbergers person. Like a really cute Down Syndrome kid.

One of the doorknobs looks like my Grandmother.

Omg, Ludo is actually so cute, his face is like a kitten’s.

Snow globes are so fucking weird.

These red goblins are a childhood breakdown waiting to happen. Are you joking Jim Henson? How are 80s kids all not seriel killers after watching this movie?

THIS SCENE IS FUCKED.

He can calling fucking rocks. Are you joking?

Out of all the dogs, why the paint dog? The dog in the ads about paint.

How good is being a fox and riding a dog around.

What the fuck is with the peach. She is TRIPPING.

What is actually going on in this insanely weird scene? He roofied her brain. This is mental rape. What the hell scriptwriters!?

You are SO HIGH Sarah.

What has happened to the plot?

Maybe the dog died.

That’s a fake dog. The dog must have died.

The pilot in the transformer looks like an ewok.

Hoggle just sounded like Luke Skywalker.

No seriously. The goblins are Spanish.

Those goblins are dressed like Mongolians. Whhhhhy, do they have a machine gun?

The fox is still riding the dog. It’s so good.

The dog has SO died. It was real before.

David Bowie on the stairs looks like Judge Doom when he gets steamrolled in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. What the fuck.

Toby is the Trainspotting baby.

Sarah sure floats a lot in this movie.

BELTING OUT THAT OUTFIT DAVID!

Why are goblins at the end of the movie party? They were at WAR.

This is the best movie EVER.

~ Fin ~

Image from: http://walrussinclair.blogspot.com/2011/07/labyrinth-david-bowie.html

David Thorne is funnier then I am.

I have a new boyfriend. His name is David. He doesn’t know he’s my new boyfriend, but I’m pretty sure we’re going to be super happy together. I always thought it would be a bit embarrassing to meet the love of my life on the internet, but that was before David. My new boyfriend. If you want to get to know my boyfriend, click here: http://www.27bslash6.com/index.html.

David Thorne writes The Funniest Blog On The Entire Planet. I realise this is a fairly sweeping statement, I mean, I haven’t read all the blogs there ever were, but it’s GROUSE. Yeah, I just said grouse. I’m bringing it back. I think rad is a bit too hipster mainstream now, so I’m going with grouse. When everyone starts using it you know I did it first. In fact, I’m pretty sure I started a lot of things. I distinctly remember someone telling me I looked like I was ‘stuck in the 80s’ when I wore high waisted skinny jeans to my 20th birthday party. Which actually was pretty mean considering it was my birthday. I mean, I did look like I was stuck in the 80s, but that’s not the point. Assholes. My POINT is that same person was wearing them 6 months later because Cosmopolitan told her to. Cosmopolitan must have seen me wearing them.

I’m also predicting t-bar school shoes will make a big hit outside of a school uniform thing.

Anyway. Go and check out my boyfriend. He’s totes grouse. (see what I did there?) and I also think I have a girl crush on the chick on the front of his website. This is her:

I kinda want to be her.

Bitch please, you’re from Ohio.

George and I went out to dinner last night and were served by an American waitress from Ohio.

When asked if she liked living in Australia she said, ‘yeeeeah, but fashion in Melbourne is totally weird. I can’t shop.’ And so I start getting all diplomatic about it, and start saying shit like, yes, well, Melbourne is quite proud of their fashion you know, we don’t really do the whole chain store thing.’ and she’s all ‘I know, I can see that, I can’t handle not having a GAP around and you guys wear the weirdest things, it’s like, omg.’ And I could see that as she said ‘oh my god’, she actually spelled it in her head as ‘omg.’

So she starts rattling off the weird aspects of Melbourne fashion, like boots and layers and broaches and accessories and pretty much describing exactly what I was wearing down to the two different earrings in each ear.

And I was almost offended.

But just in time I realised: You shop at GAP, and you’re from Ohio.

It’s very hard to take offence from someone you feel so sorry for.