Tag Archives: Boys

My Teenage Years, Vol. III—New Years Eve

The summer holidays between Years 9 and 10 are always fraught with fun aren’t they? Below we have the New Year’s experience. I was 15.

1 January, 1999

So last night was New Years and I kissed this guy Sam, who I first thought was cute but he turned into a dickhead when I was totally stoned high on coca cola*.

So I ran away from him. He was shit anyway.

Later I was looking after Jack who was chucking in the bushes. I missed the countdown because he was lying on my legs passed out.

He knew I totally wanted to kiss him on the countdown but he told me before he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. Then when he woke up and he was still lying on my legs he told me that if he wasn’t feeling so shit he would definitely be with me. I am so in love with him.

It’s was pretty good party though.

I am speechless.

* I may have taken some artistic licence with this line.

Never Trust a Boy on a Bike

The other day I was being totally chic on Acland St with a friend of mine, lamenting the lack of gorgeous men in our lives, when all of a sudden, just to prove us wrong, a Gorgeous Man rides past us on his bike.

The utter honey-ness of this guy was such that whatever conversation we were having at that point was completely abandoned mid sentence as we stared at him with our jaws dropping, going so far as to turn our heads in sync to follow his path as he rode around the corner. We must have looked pretty damn stupid, but evidently noticeable, because before he disappeared he flashed a beautiful and brilliant smile before vanishing from our lives forever.

That’s right. Vanishing From Our Lives Forever.

We didn’t understand. We had smiled. He was all responsive and smiley back. So the next step for him was to obviously park his bike, buy us drinks, tell us about his work as a fireman, and then introduce us to his identical twin brother we knew he must have stashed somewhere.

WHY HADN’T HE DONE THIS? Was he stupid? We were so obvious we may as well have had a flashing neon sign that played a jaunty tune and declared in twinkling lights like a Christmas Tree, ‘Yes! We WILL sleep with you!’ while we danced naked on either side of it.

Then we realised. He wasn’t smiling at us. He was laughing at us.


The Boy Quote of the Day

“He is not really cute. He is cute in a way that ugly people are when they have an awesome personality.”

Wisdom in St Kilda