Unicorns VS Spam in a fight for World Domination

I just tried to reply to a Spam email for fun, but Yahoo wouldn’t let me, so here is an open email to all spammy people. (When I wrote ‘spammy’ it just autocorrected to ‘spumy’. That’s fucking awesome. What the fuck is a ‘spumy’?!)

From: Jorge Alberto Betancourt Delgadillo <zeratul95@hotmail.com>

Dear friend:
I am sorry to disturb you!
We are a big Retail and wholesale company who mainly sell electrical products,We can supply best service and reasonable price with high quality. To celebrate the coming of Christmas, thanks to new and existing customers for their support and love!
company will  organize large-scale Discount activity!
All registered users can enjoy VIP price.
All the goods price provide VIP price for you!
Come on Friends, choose your favorite!  selected products into gift for your family, your friends, your Beloved people!
There are a lot of surprises! We would like to give a surprise to you and your friends!
Do not waiting!  Contact Us!  Just do it!
Note: limited number , limited time
web site: www. Xmasdiscounting.com
Take good care of yourself.^o^..

My reply:

Dear Jorge

Thanks for your email about electrical products. As you mentioned the ‘coming of Christmas’, I can only assume that one of your electrical products is a time machine. I’m pretty excited about this, as I have always wanted a time machine.

Are you able to tell me exactly what models you have in stock, and how much they are with the Christmas discount? I’m particularly interested in London during the Georgian era, so don’t worry about models that only have a 100-year limit each way in time.

Thanks so much in advance, and I hope you enjoy this picture of a unicorn that I have attached.


I don’t give a shit about your fucking electrical products. xox

PS: Please note that I do not actually own this picture of a unicorn. I Googled-Imaged it.

PPS: I chose this picture as it reminded me of a My Little Pony, and I love My Little Ponies.

One response to “Unicorns VS Spam in a fight for World Domination

  1. Laughed so hard I got tears in my eyes! How epic is that reply of yours? Oh dear me, it’s so peculiar that they send out mails like that … And even more so that you can’t reply. To bad, that would have been epic! As for the word Spumy, it’s the kind of foam or froth on a liquid … like on the sea … So erhm yeah, I’d “translate” it with foamy … if that’s even a word, but it’s something like that, I think xD

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