Category Archives: about amazing things to try and do!

For Stanley

Stanley is a stranger, but I bet he is rad. Anyway, Stanley commented on a Sophie post, admitting he found Sophie after searching for ladybugs. But he explained WHY he was searching for ladybugs, so that’s why this post is dedicated to him.

Now, I am going to offer a PRIZE to anyone who can explain to me why people are so obsessed with ladybugs as seen in the below screenshot of search terms people type in that leads them to this blog.

Or you could just tell me why YOU are searching for ladybugs. I would appreciate it.

And for first time visitors: this blog, ASTONISHINGLY, is not actually about ladybugs.

People also clearly like red heads. Of which I am now again.

I don’t think that was entirely grammatically correct. “Of which I am… something something.” I was trying to say my hair is red again. I feel more like me. Which is weird. Because in real life I’m blonde.

I also want to know the life story of the person who searched for ‘Get off bitch I’m doing science”. Cos that person would have an awesome life story.

Sophie hearts Jenny

When Sophie grows up, she is going to turn into this blog*:

http://thebloggess.com/

It’s so hard when someone is kinda you, but like, better and so much more awesome. She even outswears me. That’s amazing.

* I realise this is kinda like being a pushy stage parent. Or you know, one of those mothers who emotionally bullies their kids into studying something kill yourself boring like accounting. But then I also realise I’m talking about my blog, not a child, and I could actually stop being so fucking weird.

Sophie’s Recommended Blog of the Day

One for the ladies, check out StyleMeAlice, a new blog by an up and coming Melbourne stylist.

It’s informative and fun and inspiring and you WILL want to take Alice with you the next time you shop. Ever.

Everyone knows I hate shopping and think that shopping = Death. But somehow after reading the first entries of StyleMeAlice I want to go out wielding my Visa and make friends with shop assistants. Go figure.

I want to go and buy a belt now. And some black closed toe pumps.

David Thorne is funnier then I am.

I have a new boyfriend. His name is David. He doesn’t know he’s my new boyfriend, but I’m pretty sure we’re going to be super happy together. I always thought it would be a bit embarrassing to meet the love of my life on the internet, but that was before David. My new boyfriend. If you want to get to know my boyfriend, click here: http://www.27bslash6.com/index.html.

David Thorne writes The Funniest Blog On The Entire Planet. I realise this is a fairly sweeping statement, I mean, I haven’t read all the blogs there ever were, but it’s GROUSE. Yeah, I just said grouse. I’m bringing it back. I think rad is a bit too hipster mainstream now, so I’m going with grouse. When everyone starts using it you know I did it first. In fact, I’m pretty sure I started a lot of things. I distinctly remember someone telling me I looked like I was ‘stuck in the 80s’ when I wore high waisted skinny jeans to my 20th birthday party. Which actually was pretty mean considering it was my birthday. I mean, I did look like I was stuck in the 80s, but that’s not the point. Assholes. My POINT is that same person was wearing them 6 months later because Cosmopolitan told her to. Cosmopolitan must have seen me wearing them.

I’m also predicting t-bar school shoes will make a big hit outside of a school uniform thing.

Anyway. Go and check out my boyfriend. He’s totes grouse. (see what I did there?) and I also think I have a girl crush on the chick on the front of his website. This is her:

I kinda want to be her.

Midget Hookers Make Me Popular

I am sitting in the Dome Room at the State Library with Helen, and it’s very pretty and we’re discussing blog hits. But quietly, because it’s the State Library and the Dome Room and you have to be really quiet when you’re in here and pretend you’re all scholarly.

This is where we are. See all those scholarly people? Yeah, we’re pretending we’re one of them.

So we’re discussing blog hits, and how to generate them, and what makes people who are not your friends and immediate family look at your blog and it all comes down to the TAGS people.

So Helen and I are going to do a little experiment. I am going to proceed to tag this post with every weird and sexual thing, between us, we can think of, and see what happens.

The two of us are all about the research.

Something Wicked This Way Comes at Borsch Vodka & Tears

No matter how many times I go there (a lot) and I’m busting out a texty to a buddy to come and meet me, I always, always manage to misspell ‘Borsch.’ Even then I had to look it up a lot. I say ‘Bortch’, ‘Borcht’, ‘Bortsch’… in fact that damn ‘t’ gets me every time and it doesn’t even HAVE a ‘t’! I just put it there! For fun! For no reason!

Anyway. Borsch (had to look again) Vodka & Tears is a Polish cafe/restaurant/bar that boasts The Best Cocktail List Ever, and Some Of The Nicest Tapas In The World. That’s a pretty combo. Team it with pretty plates that don’t match (I love things that don’t match), knowlegeable and friendly bar staff, and outdoor seating on the awesome end of Chapel Street*, you have yourselves a winner.

Let’s take a moment to look at this cocktail list. Srsly. I am quite a fan of the Words, and the Sentences, and any place that has cocktails with names like this deserves a look in, even if the cocktails are shit. And they’re not. Let’s have some name examples:

Something Wicked This Way Comes; Angel With a Broken Arm; Little Red Riding Hood; Keith Richards; Ninja Love; Furious Hippo; Wanted: Hor Hare – Reward £1000; The Boss’s Daughter; and, my personal favourite: You’re Turning Violet, Violet!

I did not make these names up. These are also just examples. There are more. MORE. And so tasty you can convince yourself that your parents don’t really need the money back that you borrowed to go overseas, so there’s really no point saving it is there? and then you can hand over your credit card with a clear conscience and knock back as many Polish Bitches as you can in one sitting.

I should probably point out that Borsch does boast an impressive beer and wine list also, but when I have the choice between that and ordering something that rolls off the tongue like My Fair Marmalady, I find I don’t really care about beer and wine.

The staff rock. Once upon a time, I was with a friend who ordered a cocktail that had quite a bit of chilli in it. When they made this drink for her, they served it, then proceeded to wait for her to taste it to make sure the chilli element was to her satisfaction. If it wasn’t, they would make it again. Beautiful. They are also just really nice.

And lastly, the fooooood. Oh em gee. So good. My personal favourite are the Potato Blintzes, panfried potato pancakes served with sour cream. Have that with a Little Red Riding Hood if you like creamy things, or a Compendium if you like apple. I like cream and apple so I usually have one of each.

Which brings me to my Consumer Warning. While Borsch is very reasonably priced, you can blow your entire pay packet in one evening. This is entirely their fault, and not yours. If they insist on having such a more-ish menu, then they have to accept the pointed fingers. I like to keep ordering cocktails because I like the names. And then you have to order more food to go with your cocktails. And then those damned friendly bartenders make professional recommendations. So what started off as a drink after work turns into a rollicking evening of Eastern European amazingness. By the end of it you think you’re Polish.

So next time you’re in Prahran and slash or Windsor (I thought they were in Prahran but the website says Windsor. Corner of Chapel and High Streets anyway so you can make your own geographical call on that) pop in for a taster. I reccomend checking it out with a couple of friends, or as a spot for an impressive first date. What’s more, with a couple of Diminished Responsibility’s under your belt, a first date at Borsch Vodka & Tears could be all you need. Wins had by all.

173 Chapel St, Windsor, Melbourne, Australia

9530 2694

http://www.borschvodkaandtears.com

*Everyone knows the awesome end is the Windsor end.

Scones and Little Old Men

Today I made scones. That’s right, HOMEMADE SCONES. This is funny because I burn pasta and when I tried to boil water once, I forgot to put water in the saucepan and then burned a hole through the saucepan and thus rendered said saucepan completely useless for any future water boiling activities.

I remember Mum was mad. It was once a good quality saucepan.

Anyway, so I thought I would make scones, which I’m pretty sure is heavily influenced by all my The Famous Five reading, but because I’m in a new house and everything I don’t have a mixing bowl. So I went to visit the little old man next door and asked to borrow a mixing bowl which involved me climbing up on chairs to get it because he is very, very old and can’t do that himself anymore. And he asked what I was making and I said scones and then I said when I brought the mixing bowl back I would also bring some scones for him if they turned out okay which was by no means a guarantee.

So I have my mixing bowl and I make scones and I have to use a tiny, tiny expresso mug to cut out the shapes of the scones from the pastry because if I don’t have a mixing bowl I certainly don’t have a cookie cutter but for some reason there are tiny, tiny expresso mugs in my house. Which were somewhat effective but the handle kept snagging the pastry when I twisted it into the pastry to get my scone shape.

I make my scones. They turn out, I think, pretty amazingly well.

Now being the good girl scout I am, I wash the mixing bowl, and put a little bit of paper towel in it, put in three of what I think are the best scones, and then I realise that the little old man probably doesn’t have jam and cream just lying around in case someone brings him scones so I put in a little dish of cream and a little dish of jam in the bowl too.

So feeling all virtuous I go next door and I knock and I present the little old man with his washed bowl with scones and dishes of jam and cream thinking WOW, this is effort, this is what people do in movies when someone moves in, they give them things to welcome them except I’m doing the welcoming which is a bit weird but whatever, cos he’s very old and I’m doing a good deed.

The little old man looks at my scones. He picks one up. He says, ‘Well, that one looks a bit funny doesn’t it?’ and promptly drops it back in the bowl. Then he says, ‘I can see at least one of them looks like what a scone is supposed to, thanks for bringing the bowl back.’

Then he shuts the door.

I don’t think I will ever see my little jam and cream dishes again.

Despite the little old man, the scones (no matter what they looked like) were very, very nice and if anyone wants to make scones it is super easy. So easy, I remember the recipe off by heart and I’m going to write it here:

INGREDIENTS

3 cups of plain flour

1/2 cup of sugar

5 teaspoons of baking powder

1/2 teaspoon of salt

3/4 cups of butter

1 egg

1 cup of milk

METHOD

Preheat and oven to 200C or 400F (I can’t do the little degrees symbol on this thing).

Grease a baking tray.

Put the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in a bowl. Mix that up. Then put the butter in. It’s easier to cut up the butter in tiny pieces because that way not only does it fit in a measuring cup, but it’s easier to mix in.

Mix all that up for awhile. It won’t look like it’s mixing, especially the butter, but don’t panic.

Put the egg and milk in another little bowl and whisk that up a bit. Then gradually add bits of the egg and milk mixture into the mixing bowl where all the flour and stuff is. DO THIS GRADUALLY. Knead it with your hands as you go. YOU ALWAYS NEED LESS EGG AND MILK MIXTURE THEN YOU THINK YOU DO.

Sprinkle some flour on a chopping board, and then put what should now be a somewhat pastry on it. Knead it up. If it’s too moist, add more flour on the chopping board, and if it’s too dry, sprinkle some of the egg and milk mixture and knead it up some more.

This is about when all the butter gets mixed in.

When you think it’s ready, as in, it looks like a pastry from a cooking show, roll it out until it’s about 1/2 inch thick. If you don’t have a rolling pin, which I didn’t, I find a bottle of sweet chilli sauce (unopened) does the job pretty nicely.

So it’s all rolled out and now you can go crazy with your cookie cutter (tiny, tiny expresso mugs, etc) and then space your little rounds on the baking tray.

Cook that up for about 15 minutes or until ‘lightly golden brown’.

Serve with cream and jam and etc.

TOTES EASY.

Recipe from: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Scones/Detail.aspx

Picture from: www.theage.com.au/…/ 09/11/1157826845949.html