The Mouse and The Pretend Bong

It has been so embarrassingly long since I’ve posted a Sophie update that I actually forgot for a little minute which buttons to press to actually create a new post. WOW.

So, in my defence, I have been Totes Def Busy. I’m making Other Writing Projects. And writing an Exegesis. For those of you who don’t know what an exegesis is, here is a brief yet I believe succinct explanation:

An exegesis is a 7000 word piece of wank that universities make you do so they can scam as much money from you as possible.*

I have also been doing the following:

– having crushes on boys who don’t like me back.

– re-reading all the Harry Potter’s.

– trying to remember how to make a bong from a drink bottle and a piece of hose (this is a ‘pretend’ bong**, for aforementioned writing projects that is turning into a film project, and included a very interesting conversation with the hardware man who I was buying a piece of hose from. At 26, cutting up pieces of hose from your neighbour’s backyards is probably somewhat inappropriate. But if the kids who live behind me don’t put WD40 on that infernal swing set, not only will I steal their hose but also throw a rabid dog over their fence. Interestingly, the picture above shows a much more sophisticated bong then the pretend one we actually ended up with. Which is embarrassing.)

– scamming free tickets from Village Cinemas after I saw a mouse DANCING on my armrest during a viewing of Wall Street 2. The mouse was the most interesting thing that happened during this viewing.

– playing cards.

– helping organise my sister’s Pre-Wedding Cocktail Extravaganza, because Hen’s Nights are just nightmares in hot pink.

– and like, other stuff n shit I can’t remember.

I’m back Sophie. I promise.


* By saying ‘scam as much money from you as possible’, I of course mean, ‘scamming money off the lovely government who is technically paying for this wank fest of an education that I have no plans of ever paying back.’

** Research shows that you can actually get stoned from a ‘pretend’ bong, as much as you can from a real one.

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