I had really bad taste when I was 6

I have just found a list I wrote to Father Christmas when I was little. I have no idea how old I was… judging by the handwriting and spelling I’m guessing around six or seven.

I can’t reproduce it in its full glory because I don’t have a scanner or anything so fancy, but you should know that each line was a different colour.

It went like this (I have kept the original spelling):

1. Fluffets

Oh Jesus. What the hell is a Fluffet? Hang on, let’s see if Google knows… Google doesn’t know. I think they are maybe weird pen things and you used them to write on t-shirts and then ironed it and then whatever you drew/wrote became all weird and raised and fluffy.

2. peanutbutter and Jelly (Book)

I like how I’ve helpfully described what this is with my ‘Book’ brackets. I also like the fact I knew what brackets were.

3. A Magic Nusserry Doll (twins)

Ewwwwww!!!!!!! I’m not sure what was so magic. Possibly my spelling. I do remember I didn’t get one.

4. The crazy shorts we fond at the shop

I do remember these. They were awesome.

5. polly pocket (big size

I’ve drawn a picture next to this one. I don’t know what the picture is supposed to represent. I think it’s a house next to a stream but I’m not sure.

6. Ened bluton Book’s

And here is my attempt at grammar, using apostrophes with gay abandon.

7. A box of choclets For Mum and Dad

I think I was at the age when I was all, I don’t know for sure Santa is real, Mum and Dad could be involved more then they’re letting on… so I better suck up just in case.

8. Skipping-rope

9. a bag of choclet Money

10. A BIKE

This was written in gold pen with lines shooting off it like sparkles.

11. Home alone vido

Probably the most embarrassing item on this list.

12.  grip ball

What the frack is a grip ball?

13. Magic locket a silver slippers (Books)

And we’re turning the page. Shit this is long.

14. super fuge (Book)

15. peter pan (picher Book)

16. Little Mrss make up

Ewwww again! I didn’t get this either. Man, my parents were sensible. I did get the bike I think. I think it was my sister’s old one. I remember I loved it. It was a boy’s bike. And red. Or maybe I got a new one and I got my sister’s bike later… yeah, I don’t know.

17. a feary dress + wand crone and wings

18. Fantastic Mr. Fox

19. The baby sitters club game

20. Jabberwocky

I think I meant the book that Graeme Base illustrated. I didn’t get it. My sister already had it and I just wanted to be like her.

21. a nice hat box

Wow. How vintage of me. I don’t think I wanted to keep hats in it, I just wanted one.

22. a complet plastic tae set

I must have read this in a book somewhere, because I don’t think any kid asks for a ‘complete plastic tea set’. I mean, that’s pretty specific and weird.

23. The Magic Farafay tree

A Farafay tree sounds like a real thing. Or something you would cultivate to get high. Considering the adventures those kids had in said tree, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Then I’ve written this charming and helpful hint:

the ones I’v ticked is the ones a wont best.

I think three things have not been ticked. I am proud to say the box of chocolates was not one of these three things.

From that entire list (and it was a ‘list’, not a letter. There was no ‘Dear Santa’ or anything so lovely) the only things I still have are the Magic Locket and Silver Slippers books, which are actually lovely stories that came with a necklace, and my Peter Pan book which is a very beautiful book illustrated by Eric Kincaid and the type of thing I would give to my grandchildren if they were nice to me.

2 responses to “I had really bad taste when I was 6

  1. I KNOW what a gripp ball is! It’s a tennis ball that comes with two flat round things you put on your hand that is the opposite velcro to the tennis ball and you catch the ball with it. That’s all you do. The end.

  2. “11. Home alone vido
    Probably the most embarrassing item on this list.”

    I sure hope you are joking when you say this… Home Alone is one of cinemas greatest achievements… It is without doubt THE most quotable movie in existence.

    A hat box… really?

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