The Rape Alleys of Melbourne

A little while ago, myself and my friend Helen from Scream Under Streetlights fame, went on an Adventure to explore the alleyways of Melbourne. Our Adventures were called ‘The Rape Alleys of Melbourne’, because as everyone who is from Melbourne knows, most of the alleyways that haven’t been invaded by chic cafes look like the perfect place to go if you want to be raped and murdered.

I should explain that you won’t get raped and murdered in the Rape Alleys—at least I really hope not—but you will discover awesome bars and crazy graffiti.

This is what we found: (pictures by the lovely Helen)

Turn to the right (you can turn to the right, it doesn’t look like it but you can) and you’ll find The Croft Institute, another post for another day.

WHERE DOES THIS DOOR LEAD!? I don’t know. I am excited about it though.

There are many more photos but then this will just go for a really long time.

Helen and I walked all over the city to find these alleyways, but somehow, SOMEHOW, we missed The Best One.

On Friday night I was walking up Lonsdale Street and I passed an alleyway that was about the width of my head. Okay, slight exaggeration. But it was pretty tiny. I was pretty spacey at the time, not for any fun reason but mostly because I have been suffering from a mysterious illness* for the past two weeks that comes and goes like something that comes and goes a lot. See, even my analogies are suffering. So I’m all la la la, spacey sickness land, and I pass this alleyway and I have enough presence of mind to text Helen about twenty minutes later going oooooh woooow, rape alley extravaganza! but not enough to actually remember where it is or what it’s called except it’s somewhere on Lonsdale Street, which let’s face it, is a pretty long street.

So Helen and I plan to pack our Exploration Bag and go Looking and Report Our Findings. Our Exploration Bag will contain:

1 tape measure

1 camera

It’s a pretty small bag. But then I will Report Our Findings and Post Photos.

* I have Googled my illness to the point that I think I am suffering from a tumour of some kind and will probably die soon. I have to stop trying to self diagnose. It does not help me and I should have learned my lesson ever since the internet told me I was going to have a heart attack. I didn’t. I had a pulled muscle.

3 responses to “The Rape Alleys of Melbourne

  1. I tried to put a link on my sister’s wall to your blog and fb wouldn’t let me because the work RAPE was offensive!!!

  2. Pingback: A Guest Contribution from the Infamous Helen: A Photo Essay « Sophie Was A Dog

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